Friday, September 19, 2008

Crazy

I have two things to say...

1. There are white lines in parking lots for a reason. If you can't pull in straight the first time, use the gear marked 'R" in your car, back your butt up and try again. No one will make fun of you, I promise.
I will curse under my breath at you for parking crooked and so darn close to my car that I cannot even slide open the door to get my baby in on her side.

2. If you have just had a baby TWO DAYS AGO you should NOT be in Target with him. I don't care if you feel like you have to get out of the house. Send your friend, your family, a neighbor. Or go alone. But unless you are trying to get your newborn sick with RSV or some other disease. - don't have him hanging out in the shopping cart in just a onesie and no blankets.
Yes, I think your baby is cute. Yes, I for SURE think you win the stupid mom of the year award for telling me "It's my second " like that makes a difference.

I am judging you and I do not think you are cute for "getting out of the house." I don't care. For pete's sake, you should still be ordering room service in the hospital!

End of rant. Thank you.

17 comments:

Belle said...

AMEN...really, how hard is it to park properly and I just don't know what to say about the newborn in Target. Two thirds of the people I know have head colds this week and goodness only knows what kind of vile bacteria and so forth are on those buggies.

loulou said...

2 comments back:

1. Being a germaphobe to the point of OCD, I usually stay in with babies for like 6 years. (Yes years not months.) SOme of you might find that a little extreme, but alas I am a nut.

2.I am a little nervous that in the past you have mocking my ill-parked car. I don't know why I don't park straight? Essentially, I can chalk it up to sheer laziness. But in the goal to restore public peace and curtail animosity among fellow parkers I will park better. Kristen you have changed my heart. When I run for President would you be my VP running mate? I will put lemonade in the WHite House drinking fountains and I'll let you do the food and decorating.

wow that was long. sorry.

kjtroxel said...

Had a good time this morn huh? These too rants top my pet peves too.

Nae said...

Sing it Sista! You are a riot, I love it.

Chris said...

While everyone else is praising you for what you said, I'm thinking, "This woman scares the hell out of me." I'm soooo glad I'm not on your bad side--yet. :)

Kris said...

What?!? You've never thought wither of those things? You are lying Chris - I know it. Someone tell her I'm NOT scary! lol

Denise said...

I am with you girl!!!

McB's said...

I am so with you on these!! I hate those white line parkers totally because I can't get my daughter out and the worst thing is then you have to park crooked and then when that person leaves then the next person that parks thinks YOU are the one who parked liked a retard! I think I will leave a note on my car the next time and say that I parked this way cuz the retard next to me made me.

Marie said...

I'm totally laughing at Chris's comment. lol

I'm usually running through one store to get to the next one so I never notice babies and how old...or young...they may be. But I'll admit to bringing my daughter out to the mall when she was very, very new... :o/

Crooked car parkers? That's my husband. I apologize to everyone everywhere that has to park next to him.

Allison said...

Rolling! You are hilarious!

Keysha said...

I park a million miles out in no man's land and the idiots always find me...parking so close I want to slam their vehicle with my door...but not wanting to harm my vehicle in the process.

As for the 'bragging' mom at Target....Seriously, go home and stay in your comfy's. Why would you want to take your new baby to Target??? (Or Church? I never understand that one either? Stay home. Enjoy some time away from the germy world).

Olson's said...

I can't believe that crazy lady! Like I told you at Target, two days after I have a baby I am still lying in the hospital bed (drinking fruity drinks and asking the nurses for more pain medication, nonetheless)! The worst part about the whole thing is that she made the comment while smiling - like we should be impressed or something. Well, I'm with you - not impressed at all, just disappointed!

Jenny and Jared said...

I have to agree with you- who takes their baby out that soon! I'm with Lou Lou- I tend to go a little overboard- but thats because people like that lady do stupid stuff like taking their newborns out and about- and she probably takes him out when he's sick too! All I have to say is Amen, sister.

thepaddock said...

Hallelujah Kristen!!! I so agree with you on both topics. Mainly the "keep your newborn baby home" topic...I don't get it, either. I guess there are women out there who are trying to be super moms!!!

I know a mother who was a Harvard grad, delivered her baby on a Wednesday and was at church that Sunday! I thought smart people go to Harvard...I guess not!!!

BTW---I love this post!

"The Queen in Residence" said...

I guess some people just have to get their Target fix. I agree with you there are alot of really annoying people out there that just do not get it!!!
PS - I do not think you are scary, I think that you are right!

NatRat said...

I am with you on the parking thing. What bothers me even more is when really nice car parks taking up two spots, duh! Just park clear at the back of the parking lot, unless my mom is coming to the store and she will hit that car that is parked clear in the back so they don't get dinged...seriously, I don't know how she did it.

And with the whole 2 day baby thing, so true, leave the baby at home. I can't even leave the house in two days because I am still wearing the hospital gown because NOTHING else will fit me.

Kim said...

Oh...AMEN...my friends & I just had a conversation about women who are out shopping on their way home from the hospital. Yes...I said on the way home from the hospital. Women...plural...yes...there have been two (2) that we have been witness to recently. What are these moms trying to prove?

That's right up there with women who smoke while they're pregnant.